Remembrance
As we roll through the ups and downs of our lives, do you ever think about how you would like to be remembered by others? When I was younger, the thought never entered my mind, and I probably would have laughed it out of my head. But today, when I watch, read, and experience all of the harshness in the world, I tend to ask myself daily how I would like people to remember me. The thought changes the way I start and end my day.
When I was a little boy, I can remember my mother asking each of us children how we wanted to be remembered. Full of questions I would say, why do I need to be remembered by anyone? The look in her eyes made me stop quizzing her and learn to just listen, whether I understood or not. Interestingly enough, I don’t remember her sharing how she wanted to be remembered, although there are great memories in my head about her that still make me smile or sit very still.
There’s a beautiful quote that has been attributed to Maya Angelou: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Asking yourself “how do I want to be remembered” is another way of asking, “how do I want to make people feel?” Each and every day, the lessons that I have learned throughout my life is striving to make a difference in life by showing kindness to others. Making someone smile gives me a warm feeling inside and out.
If you asked my true friends what they remember and enjoy the most about me they would probably say, his laughter, his supportive attitude in times of need, being fearless regardless of the consequences or risks, loyalty, and an honest person with no bullshit in his luggage. They would also order my favourite cocktails for old times’ sake, such as a Cosmo, Espresso Martini, Lychee Martini or a Negroni. I would also say the same thing about them. Over the past 2 years, I have lost some of my best friends to cancer, COVID-19, or other illnesses and I can say their memories make me smile and laugh almost every day. When times get tough, I often hear their voices or feel their hands pushing me in the right direction to make a difference in life. The meaning of life is less about how much we accomplish in our lives and more about how present, content, and connected we are to our truest selves and everything else around us. I believe that it’s less about the work that we do and more about how we touch the lives of others, even strangers that we may never see again.
There are so many ways that we can consider being remembered. For example, how would you like to be remembered as a mother or father, a brother or sister, a work colleague, as a leader, or as a friend? The benefits of these thoughtful questions may tell us what we stand for (our core values), how we want to show up in our daily lives, and it grounds us in the present. Once you’re clear on how you want to be remembered, all you have to do is start acting in that way. The question could also be, how do we want to make others feel?
So, what will people say about you and how will they remember you? I like how Frank Sinatra wanted to be remembered and that’s just the way he is remembered too.
